I came across this a while ago and have decided that I am capable of 'spuddling'.
It can be disheartening and makes you wonder how you manage in life. You look at others and they seem to have it all together and the end results of their busy time shows an achievement of some kind.
Having ADHD may mean that, like me, there are definitely hours or even days where we spuddle.
I can have a to-do list as long as my arm, but when I get to the end of the day I realise that despite my intentions and being extremely busy, the things on that list aren't complete and I have nothing to show for being busy.
There are also days where I sit back and thing "What on earth did I do today?" I know I've been busy but I can't quite remember what I've done. When this happens we may even convince ourselves that we have done nothing of any consequence.
The inability to remember could happen for many reasons; some might say it's my menopausal brain, others may say it's poor working memory. I could put it down to stress, too many distractions etc.
We also get to decide for ourselves if some of the examples listed above are excuses or reasons. Other people may have their opinions about it and, yes, potentially it could be something that matters in life, but was your spuddle really a waste of time or as inefficient as you think?
It depends on what the things are that kept us busy spuddling were.
I have learnt that there are a number of thought patterns I can take when it hits me that spuddling has or is happening. Some are beneficial and others are not. I could potentially:
Call myself a failure and compare myself to those who have it all together. (If this is you, is it time to consider that there are other trains of thought that might ease the feelings of shame, guilt or anger that go along with this line of thinking?).
Give up on the tasks I wanted to get done until I am in a better headspace to complete them.
Make out another to-do list ready for tomorrow. I can try again.
Considerthat the time I have allowed to do something versus the time it actually takes, are vastly different from each other. I know one of my issues is time blindness.
Consider the environment in which I was attempting to do things. Was I being realistic with my plans?
Sit back and think about the timeline of the day, as it helps me think about what I did actually manage to do.
Make a list of what I did do. It may not match the original list, but it's still things I managed to get done. As an example, I still haven't tidied the spare room but I have made some adjustments to my website and am writing this blog!
Ask myself if I enjoyed or feel satisfied with my busy period regardless of whether or not I achieved something that can be measured.
Consider what I could do differently to work in a more efficient manner.
Accept that other things took priority.
It's always worth remembering that, sometimes, despite our best intentions, things don't always go to plan. Some of it is beyond our control, some of it is simply too monotonous or boring for our ADHD brains and we busy ourselves with something we get a dopamine hit from. Maybe we entered into hyperfocus doing something else and there was no chance for the seemingly achievable things.
Is it possible that the things that keep us busy, showing off our efficiency and are seen as an achievement in the world today (large or small), are too overwhelming for us at that particular time?
Maybe it wasn't the right time to face it head on, maybe it was the day to avoid it and get busy with something else that wasn't as taxing on our senses, emotions, energy and abilities.
Only you really know the impact of spuddling. And if it is having a serious impact, is that impact a true measure or is it a harsh inner critic making things seem worse than they are?
People have been spuddling since the 17th Century, 400 years give or take.
It still happens today in a world that is vastly different, despite our modern world with a whole host of creations to make things achievable.
There are coaching tools and techniques to help you tackle the art of spuddling, but is it also worth considering that maybe, just maybe, having a bit of a spuddle every so often is OK?
We can't be perfect all the time and sometimes expectations don't always match reality, no matter how hard we try.
To spuddle doesn't mean that you have failed.
It is entirely possible that our achievements from being busy are invisible to us. They are the things that we don't take into consideration ourselves, but could make all the difference to other people in one way or another.
Is that thought worth considering next time you spuddle?